


well, I may have faked it

by asteroidwaltz



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, they still skate though, which is victor, yuuri bases his pretend girlfriend off the closest thing he has to one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-01-09
Updated: 2017-01-09
Packaged: 2018-09-15 23:15:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9263012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asteroidwaltz/pseuds/asteroidwaltz
Summary: He remembered hearing something once, from the coach of the Russian figure skaters: when athletes are backed into a corner, they tend to act completely unexpectedly."Wait!" Yuuri shouted, managing to silence all talk of his love life. There was no turning back at this point. "It's not that! I have a girlfriend!"In which Yuuri doesn't screw up the first GPF and pretends to have a girlfriend so everyone will please just leave him alone.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [My Girlfriend, Who Lives In Canada](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/255062) by Ronsard. 



> So, once upon the time in my old Kingdom Hearts fandom days, there was a fic on ff.net that I absolutely adored. In fact, I still have it saved on my kindle. And that pretend girlfriend fic is the inspiration for this pretend girlfriend fic. 
> 
> Look, I'm sorry okay? I don't know what this is and I have it saved on my computer as "what the fuck.doc"

Yuuri Katsuki was a man of many labels. He was a JSL-certified figure skater, for one. He was a son, a brother, a student, winner of two local dance championships, and silver medalist for last year's All-Japan Figure Skating Championships.

He was not, however, someone who performed well under peer pressure. So, when Minako asked him, in front of his entire family and their mutual friends, why a "good looking man with abs like his didn't have a girl in his life?" Yuuri almost choked on his rice.

In his pocket, his phone buzzed with a text message notification. Everyone in the bathhouse common space was looking at him expectantly. Briefly, he wished he had stayed in Detroit during the off-season. At least there the only thing that mattered was skating and classes and everyone just left him _alone_. There was that one incident where Phichit tried to set him up with some girl from the women's hockey team, but after that ended in disaster, Phichit dutifully stayed out of Yuuri's romantic life.

It wasn't like it was here in Hasetsu, where he sat in front of his parents, his sister, his former crush (and her husband and her three children who should be in bed!), and his ballet teacher who all waited for him to comment on his relations with the opposite sex.

"Well…" He stuttered out. He could feel his glasses fogging as a blush crept onto his cheeks. He was still trying to process the idea that his an muscles were worth noting by anyone. "Y-you see…" 

"I get it!" Mari said. Between his sister and Minako, there were two empty bottles of sake. "He's a big-time figure skater now, and he's too good for us little people!"

Yuuri wanted to die.

"No, I don't think that's it," Yuuko piped up. "I think he's just shy around girls! He never admitted to having a crush on me all those years ago." Her husband and triplets nodded in agreement.

"So, he's just too scared to talk to anyone?"

He hated his sister.

"He could have any girl he wanted wrapped around his fingers. He just lacks any confidence to take the initiative."

He hated Minako too.

Maybe he was dead, and he was in hell. Because this is what Yuuri imagined hell to be like as Minako, Mari and Yuuko fervently discussed the aspects of Yuuri's childhood crush. His own mother was commenting on how Yuuri was always so shy around girls and how cute it was that he went to Ice Castle to see Yuuko. Oh god, even Takeshi had an opinion on this. He wanted to scream that that had been 13 years ago when he was 10 and stupid and could barely talk to anyone let alone someone he had a crush on. 

The conversation had shifted to - oh god - what type of girls Yuuri might be into with everyone agreeing that he would have to be with someone who wore the pants in the relationship.

"Wait!" Yuuri shouted, managing to silence all talk of his love life. All eyes were on him. He remembered hearing something once, from one of the the coaches of the Russian skaters: sometimes, when athletes are backed into a corner, they can act unexpectedly. He felt his mouth moving, words spilling out like liquid that he couldn't catch. There was no turning back at this point. "It's not that! I have a girlfriend!"

In the ensuing silence, Yuuri's phone buzzed again. Then, the room exploded.

There were various screams, several of which Yuuri heard coming from the six-year-old triplets. He could only make out of few of the screams. _How could you not tell me?!_ and _How long have you been hiding this?!_ echoed in his ears. He swore his ears must have been smoking, considering how fast his brain was trying to work.

Minako looked especially furious. "How could you not tell me?!" She yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at him. "I want to know everything. You're not leaving until you tell us everything about this girl."

"How could you hide this from your family?" Mari sighed, a newly opened bottle of sake in her hands. Even his mother nodded in agreement this time.

"Tell us, Yuuri! Is she a figure skater?" Yuuko said her eyes sparkling with… were those tears of happiness? Yuuri wanted to die again.

"She is… uhhh. No, she's not a skater," He said. "B-but she's a fan. She comes to a lot of competitions."

"That's good," One of the triplets piped up. Was it Axel? No, it must be Loop. Either way, she was typing furiously on a phone. "That means she understands the commitment and travel that comes with being a professional figure skater." Yuuri didn't want to think about how she could possible know that.

"What's her name?" Minako asked. She leaned over the table over the table and eyed him suspiciously. "Where'd you meet? And how come we've never heard about her before?"

"She's very private," Yuuri said, his mind working into overdrive. "You know with me being a… a 'big time figure skater' she doesn't want to deal with any of the press or anything." He didn't even know if this lie was making sense anymore. Didn't want to deal with what press? There had been two articles about him last season and both of them were written in a way that seemed surprised Yuuri was even at a major competition.

He thought of every girl who had asked to take a picture with him over the year at his competitions. He was having trouble remembering any of their faces or if he had any sort of meaningful conversation with them. "She lives in Barcelona. We met at the Grand Prix Final last year," He continued. "We've only been together for a few months, but we talk almost daily when we get the chance. Long distance, you know?"

Maybe there was a flight leaving right now for Detroit that he could catch. And maybe that flight would crash into the ocean and he would never have to deal with this again. His body could become one with the fish. He always liked fish. 

"You haven't told us her name yet," Mari said.

In his second year of college, Yuuri was forced to take a lower-division writing class that consisted of penning short stories and poems. He was not a particularly creative person, especially off the ice. His classmate had told him to use his own experiences to create stories and base his characters off people he knew in real life. His mind flashed with images of long silver hair and blue eyes.

"Victoria," He finally said. "Her name is Victoria."

He wanted to die.

- 

"Yuuuuuriiiii… Why have you been ignoring me?"

Much to his chagrin, Yuuri has not died from embarrassment. He had somehow managed to extract himself from the chaos downstairs. Minako and Mari both drank one bottle of sake too many and Yuuko finally declared that it was time for the triplets to go to sleep. His mother gave him a loving look as he sprinted back to his room. In the safety of his childhood bedroom, he pulled out his phone. Four missed text messages greeted him and he couldn't help his smile.

"Sorry," Yuuri said, settling onto his bed with his phone held above him. He was thankful that his phone camera for Skype made him look better than he did in real life. He didn't want to want his face to give away how ridiculous he was feeling. "Thing's were a little crazy at dinner."

"Oh? It sounds fun! I bet dinner's at the hot springs are fun! Let's have dinner next time I'm in Japan!"

"You really would want to have dinner at an old hot springs resort?" Yuuri asked, his voice playful. "I'm sure there's much nicer places I could take you, Victor."

Victor smiled and shook his head. "No, I just want to have dinner with you!"

- 

The story of how they met goes like this: two men walk into a banquet hall. One just won his fifth consecutive Grand Prix medal, the other placed fourth in his Grand Prix debut. Despite the remarkable placement for a debut, the second man became moderately depressed and filled with self-doubt. He then decided to self-medicate using the complimentary champagne and the company of the gold medalist. Two men leave the banquet with their arms around each other.

It wasn't until the next morning that Yuuri realized just exactly _whose_ bed he was in. He managed to go through the seven stages of grief twice before the older man woke up and smiled at him. They ended up having breakfast together, where he found out that they (thankfully? Disappointingly?) did not become intimate. They exchanged phone numbers and emails, and the older man made him promise to call after every competition and Yuuri made him promise to send daily dog pictures. It's not until Yuuri was back in his hotel room that the full effect of having Victor fucking Nikiforov's phone number takes over.

-

When he talks to Victor, something in Yuuri's heart flutters. He remembers when Victor first tried to Skype him and Yuuri spent thirty panicked seconds tearing down every glossy poster of Victor that was taped to his bedroom walls. He realized how weird his luck was, that he was not only friends with the man he idolized for years, but also had almost nightly phone calls with said man.

"Did you see the picture I sent you?" Victor asked. "I took Makkachin to this new dog park!"

"I haven't had the chance to look at it," Yuuri said, searching through his messages to find the photo. The brown poodle stared down at him from the image, his handsome owner draped on his back.

"I should let you get to bed. It's late there, right?" Victor sighed and something in Yuuri lurches. _Not yet. Stay with me a few more minutes._ "I'm excited for you for next week! But the time change will be even more annoying!"

The thought of going back to Detroit hadn't crossed his mind recently, though he had been thinking about the competitive starting again. He realized he has no idea what the time difference between Detroit and St. Petersburg is and made a mental note to check on that. Between practice on the ice and a fitness routine off the ice, he wondered if they would have time to talk like this.

"Well, at least I can get back on the ice," Yuuri said. "We… we might even get to see each other in person. Depending on the competitions."

With that Victor's face absolutely lights up and Yuuri heart almost stops.


End file.
